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The Completely Inappropriate Tales of Gandersnitch the Goblin
DO NOT READ THIS BOOK
…if you are pregnant, nursing, plan to become pregnant, intend to ever have a chance at getting a girl pregnant, hate goblins, have an irrational fear of giant man eating spiders, have lost loved ones in the Troll Wars, are illiterate, lack all sensory organs, are easily offended, despise tea, faint at the thought of bloodshed, are a raving lunatic who obsessively stalks authors to murder them in their sleep, are driving a motorized vehicle, or have not yet experienced puberty.
Within these pages, you will find nine short stories (and two poems) detailing the darkly depraved, mildly amusing, ultimately unscrupulous, seriously sordid, and wretchedly rotten life and adventures of Gandersnitch the Goblin, the Banished Barber of Goblonia. This book is not for the wee-est of the wee, the innocent and pure, or those with massive heart defects. These are Goblin Tales, in all their gory glory! All claims of damages arising from the misuse of these pages will be mocked most mercilessly. You have now been duly warned. Continue at your own bloody risk, and enjoy the show!